PS I’m (not) Over You: Chapter 3

Chapter 3: A Fool Who Fell in Love with a Monster

Have you ever wondered why people fall in love? Why is it that you encountered one person that will instantly turn your world upside down? Why can’t we teach our own heart to love someone without going crazy? Why can’t we love without getting hurt at all?

Every single day we encountered new people and let them become a part of our lives whether we like it or not. If someone told her earlier that she will fall in love with the man who saved her life when she was just eight years old, she could have murdered the said person for saying such ridiculous things.

She fell hard, so hard that she knew she couldn’t do anything about the unrequited love that trapped her. Do you know how it feels to see your loved one with someone else? Have you spent so many sleepless nights crying over that person?

Have you tried forcing yourself to believe that you will get over it by running away? Why can’t you stop loving that person? Why can’t that person return those special feeling you have for them?

He was like a ruthless barbarian, trespassing her lands, conquering everything that she had. She was jailed and tortured by this barbarian. Unforgiving, destroying every walls and protection that she built for several years. Taking everything that she had, claiming her body, her mind, her life.

Ririna knew it was useless to run away. Every turn she takes, every move she makes, everything makes her reminds her of him. Like a restless ghost hunting her, refusing to let her forget. There were so many times she found herself holding her breath, staring at him from a faraway distance. Her heart clenched at the thought that he could never be hers. She was just like a wind that he will never notice. Why? Why is loving him the most painful thing she should suffer?

He raised her as his private assassin. She suffered so many painful training, torture; spent so many nerve wrecking missions. But those were less painful than loving him. These feelings that she has for him, why can’t she stop loving him? Why is forgetting him almost next to impossible?

She’s a fool. A fool who fell for someone so dangerous that it could kill her. She admits, only to herself, that she still loves him but the thought of meeting him terrifies her. He might get suspicious. He might find out that she deceived him to get her freedom by taking advantage of Karissa’s assassination plan.

On the night she had left his side, the paranoid and selfish fiancée of his attacked her while she was on her way to the nearest airport. Suffering from a severe third-degree burn that tarnishes her left shoulder and arm, she managed to fake her medical records with the help of Ginny’s influence.

Pretending that she suffers from amnesia, losing her memories due to the head injury she got, she signed her instant freedom from Eli. If Eli sees her now, she’s not sure if she could stay calm in his presence. Seeing the man she loved, knowing that he will never return her feelings would be another type of torture for her.

She knew. Yes, she knew. He never did and will never love her.

It doesn’t matter how many nights they spent in each other’s arms, sharing passionate kisses and lovemaking. It was just sex for him. A desire that needed to be satisfied. But she made love with him, gave everything she had, body, mind, and soul. She loved him so much even if it hurt. He said so himself, that he is incapable of love, that she’s just another woman to share and warm his bed.

No matter how it broke her already shattered heart, she complied. During their first night together, Eli made it clear to her that she was his. His woman. No other man can have her aside from himself, that if she so wished to be free from him, she could only kill herself.

Such possessiveness and a clear warning from his voice sent shivers down her spine. Clear eyes and intimidating aura telling her this man would rather see her dead than to share her with others.

There are times she almost told him “I love you” and “You don’t have to love me because I love you too much that it will be enough for both of us”. She left him, trying to save her child with the remaining dignity she had on herself. Only in her dreams, she could express the feelings she was trying to kill within.

She could never defy him, not until she got someone to protect. Even a lioness will bare her fangs to anyone who will dare to hurt her cub. She will never hesitate to kill once more if needed, but could she fight the lion who fathered her child? There so many enemies lurking around, waiting for her to make a mistake. Not that she’s worried that they could beat her, she was actually excited to see and play with her preys.

Unbeknownst to these fools, a lioness is stronger when she has something to protect. Although she’s a fool who fell in love with a monster, she wasn’t stupid enough to endanger her own child. Aya’s suggestion will serve as a death warrant from the grim reaper himself. That man was so possessive, he will surely find out when she’s with another man. Thank you very much but she doesn’t want to die yet. She hasn’t prepared her last will and picked her own headstone yet.

When she prematurely gave birth to Skyler four years ago, the resemblance between the two almost made her cry. She was so happy to see her newborn son yet it was also too painful that he reminded her of his father. The process of forgetting him instant drained from every will she had.

Of course, she couldn’t blame her son for inheriting his father’s features. His dark silky locks and grey eyes will sure prove that he is his blood kin. No DNA testing needed.

She sighed.

There’s no point thinking about him at this time. Ririna looked at the reflection of herself in the windows and praised Erica’s eagerness to find a suitable place for her new business office. Although she is mostly known as an artist who made well-known paintings and sculptures, her business now is to gather the stocks of her father’s company little by little.

Only by provoking the hyenas from their territory, will she have an opening to find out who really is behind the death of her mother.

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